Selfish Me

Me, myself and I

“I” yes me! The selfish me, reading all my messages during arguments with the woman I love made me realize how selfish I am. I never thought, I would realize that I am such a selfish bastard. You know, there’s this woman that I truly adore… chose to break my heart because she’s very faithful with her faith and having a relationship with me makes her a sinner. So, yeah, that’s how it works... I am the sin.
Anyway, she always reminded me that there’s always a difference between understanding and practice. I thought she was just being righteous, but no, she wasn’t. She was right. Just like me, I keep on saying I understand what she’s going through… I did, but it’s different if I am at her shoes. She’s sacrificed enough for me. I kept on yelling “you don’t love me”, “you are just fooling around” and “you are just doing this for experience.” I didn’t realize I am making my own problem. I was just being so selfish. What a bastard!

Now, I will be trying my best to practice the art of acceptance. I have to accept that I can never change her mind, I can never convince her that I love her in spite of the physical differences I have with men. That I accept everything about her – “maldita” , “bossy” , “OC” , and nagger. I love these things first before I love more her good side – loving sister, friend and girlfriend. An Awesome daughter of God, and has a heart of a Good Samaritan. See, how awesome she is? One more thing, she’s the only woman who made me write again….

My selfishness will soon be gone… Praying.. Hoping.. Wishing.. Practicing… again , you may not be able to love me the way you did before but Please keep in mind, I will love you till your last breathe.. I’m not saying this because of strong emotions I am feeling for you, I’m saying these because I am sure of you. Too bad, we don’t have the same stand on that..

Reality bites.

note: Sorry for the grammar