In the battle of love a person will always get two results, Rejection and Acceptance. Mine was rejection and I could feel every drop of my heart, it’s real and unbearable! But by grace, I am trying to hold everything off and keeping my head high…
It started with phone calls (thanks to the unlimited promos), then was followed by a consistent calls that led me to infatuation… Danger came in, she gave me a warning before we started to be “friends with benefits”, and her lines were “Don’t fall in love with me, I am not good in emotions!” there... I know, I will be playing with fire. I agreed and continued the feeling of being around her, the long hour’s calls in the phone, the exchange of txt messages and the mature conversation made me happy again. I forgot the warning sign, ignored it and thought I could handle it with care. She shared her stories in the past, it was ugly and traumatic yet I couldn’t care less, it was her that matter to me, her bossy style made me realize that I have already met the woman in my dreams. After a month of being far away, we finally get a chance to be together and it was one of the happiest days of my life, I couldn’t care if someone is trying to call me through my phone because all that matters to me is her, the smell of her hair and fact that she was right beside me. It was crazy and fun with her and it made me realize that I failed to do what she warned, I fell in love.
When the time came that the “benefits” should be removed, it shattered me thoroughly and couldn’t believe reading the rude txt messages that I have been receiving from her. I tried to win her, for months I followed what my heart says to show how she means to me yet I failed. No effort was acknowledge and the fear of being replaced by someone I will never be…. I had to let go, she was never in love with me, only the thing I can satisfy her fantasy. It is still very painful and I wish I could still make it work… Rejected and tormented, a hopeless romantic where all I am hoping that God would give me a chance to prove that I can love the person to her last breathe.
