Overwhelming Pain

Forgive the grammar, I am in the middle of killing myself. (lol)

I've been through a lot of pain. The kind of pain where you can't breathe while sleeping, were all you have is your pillow to lean on. But this one is different, it's disturbing... The fact the you both know you can be together but because of faith, you can't. It's so frustrating, hurtful and insane.

I keep on praying you'll stay. Keep me and your faith. But I know you can't do both, and here I am, with a broken heart and still praying for the good things to happen. you keep on telling me, I am selfish. Am I? Can't you see, I am not pushing the situation anymore, I try to keep the pain, but the pain of loosing you is killing me. I can't help but cry, cry for you to stay.

I feel helpless, I don't know what else to do. Words, Words, I'm running out of words expressing the pain that is present. damn, I wish I could just hug you right now.. Kiss you, reminding you that it'll be okay. But I know you wouldn't believe that. You should follow what your Faith says to you. You should do the right thing, right? Just so you know, this feeling is taking control of me, I've tried my best to let go of you but I don't want too. I shouldn't love you, but I want too. I don't know how to be fine when I know I'm not.

I wish you could pray and also love me. The bible never said to let go of the people you love.

You keep on teaching me to be hard on love. You know what? I'd rather take all the pain, than holdback and be hard on myself. I love you. It won't change anything if I stop myself from loving you. You are everything I have ever wish for. If letting go is your choice, then, be it.. I will respect that but I won't. You may not talk to me anymore,it doesn't matter... Who says you can't love someone without communication? Believe me, my love is much stronger than anything else.

Note: grabe ka lain ang feeling buy-an nimo ang "naa" na nmo na gusto nga tao, to spend your life with!