Day 7

Today, I have nothing to write on my Day 7 notes. My mind is blank! With full emotions that has been debating inside my heart. But I do have a letter for God.

Dear God,

My life all over the years was all out of my control. Yesterday, you let my cousin feel terrified for letting her wedding be moved again. Today, heart attack took the life of my dearest uncle. Right now, love took my hope away. Before, my parents took the life I deserve. 1 year ago, infidelity took my trust for my girlfriend.

And these things are all out of my control. I am now starting to live my life with you, But God, please help me make my dreams come true. Please, I’m begging don’t let that fade away. Please, let it stay and give it a little bit of hope since this sustains my respect, love and care for her. Yes, God. I am very determined with this one. It’s not because this “something” is what I always desire to have. Believe me, it’s because it is what my heart says… I am good, with being a friend. I do. I just don’t want to miss a chapter of her life. So, help me God.

Now that my uncle is already in your kingdom please do take care of Him… And please, take care of his family. Give them Hope and Strength to move on, specially my aunt, who’s now in deep pain.

For my cousin, make her feel that everything will be alright. That she can do the right decision when her man arrives from work. For my mom, help her to forgive herself of giving up on us. For her, remind her I am not here because I want her to be mine, she’s not something I always desire, but she’s someone I have always love. The scripture says the grounds of love, but i wonder why , people like me, feel the love with the same individual. I bet many will answer, this is totally wrong and really insane. But I did know many relationships have failed for reasons that “they’re not being their selves” and they only made a decision for the eyes of the people around them and in the eyes of the God. But honestly, Some did a choice, but end up coming back to who they really were.

LORD, I SUBMIT EVERYTHING TO YOU. I mean it. Guide me with my actions every now and then… Give me the strength, the faith and Hope I’m asking. You’re now the one who’s in charge of my life. Please God, let her stay for good in my life.

I am letting go of my hurts and worries. I'll submit it to you, I know you have a reason and I am willing to understand. I know you know what I'm feeling. I trust in you Lord. I believe in you.